Vaticanal/"Amazons of Vaginal Resistance"

Oddly scrumptious writer Letizia Merello has written another peculiarly delicious article about my poetry, yay!

This article appears in an online magazine called Vaticanal and here is the link:

http://vaticanal.blogspot.com/

If interested, you need to download the magazine. Leti's piece appears on page 30.

Just so you know, some of the Vaticanal content happens to be semi-pornographic (in an artsy kind of way), so if you're not into that sort of thing, then you might not wanna click the link.

Also, the magazine's content is in Italian and so is Leti's piece. If you can't read Italian, but are interested in her article, an English version appears below.

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"Ladies and gentlemen, the curtain rises on the massacre of the dignity of cunt. The last bulwark of resistance to today's aesthetic rules seems to have finally succumbed, my ladies, except for those of you who hide between their thighs something looking like a worn purse or a dressed-leather loafer. Will you, the amazons of vaginal resistance, be able to resist the temptation of flattering rejuvenation surgery?

Vagina d'autore

Le sue rosee labbra smerlate si schiudono, una varietà carnosa
di bocca di leone. Un trattamento insolito ma efficace è
l'uso del batticarne: la rende così deliziosamente insensibile,
è come legare quattro arti fantasma a quattro cavalli e intervenire
chirurgicamente, come l'applauso di un pubblico al lieve tremolìo di quei lobi.

"Cos'è, una gara fra anoressiche a chi mangia più torte?"
L'urlo viene da uno spettatore estremamente partecipe.
"Forza! Dentro!" e alla fine sventrano:
uno che traffica freneticamente in mezzo alle gambe,
l'altro che si dà da fare con la lobotomia.

È ridotta proprio male, ma presto i resti saranno soltanto dolci
petit-four. Carni nauseanti da salassare, quindi isolare.
Una volta ottenuto l'effetto puntura d'ape, quel nido di vespe furioso
dev'essere suturato. Tutto sta nel soddisfare quegli
scarabocchi rosa, quelle piccole ali inadatte al volo.

Designer Vagina

Her pink scalloped lips part, a meatier variety
of snapdragon. A strange but effective treatment
is meat tenderizer. Then she’s so deliciously numb,
it’s like tying phantom limbs to four horses & performing
surgery, as an audience applauds those delicately trembling lobes.

“What is this, a pie eating contest for anorexics?”
shouts one overzealous clapper from the crowd.
“Get in there! Giddyup!” and they tear in--
one furiously working between the legs;
one serving point on the lobotomy.

She’s a real mess, but soon every remnant will be sweet
petit fours. Cloying meat must be leeched, then cloistered.
After the bee-sting effect is achieved, her angry hornet nest
must be sewn shut. It’s all about pleasing
pink squiggles and tiny flightless wings.

Juliet Cook, poet, publisher and author of this poem, is used to rummage in troubled waters with irony and coquetterie, but never afraid to get her hands dirty. Her Designer Vaginas are partly inspired by the latest craze, that is to become highly-fuckable Barbies in all respects. The Designer Vaginas series poems, a poetic squirt in the face of advocates and supporters of this trend, show that, thank Satan, beauty can survive even during a surgical procedure that seeks to kill her with standardization. Would you like more of this? Other creatures, mutilated and caramelized, are shaking their legs and tentacles on http://julietcook.weebly.com/."

Typewriter Girls Gone Furry Juliet

Part of the Fabulous Typewriter Girls Gone Furry event this past June -this segment includes me reading two of the six poems I read - "Maybe My Muse Is a Devilfish" and one of my "Designer Vagina" s

my latest designer vagina in diagram

Okay for those of you perverts who are reading this because of the title, but aren't in the know, my designer vaginas are poems--and the diagram is an uber-fabulous online poetry magazine.

It's one of my favorite online poetry magazines, so I'm extremely pleased to have one of my designer vaginas doing its designer vagina thing in the new issue, 9.5, surrounded by other fine poems and weird diagrams and suchlike.

http://thediagram.com/9_5/cook.html

If this poem whets your appetite in some strange way, you can partake of more of my designer vaginas in the latest issue of diode (another favorite online poetry magazine), which was published a little while back.

http://www.diodepoetry.com/v3n1/content/cook_j.html

Even more designer vaginas are out & about, looking for the right homes. If you want one, let me know. Or else it'll probably give itself away to someone else.

local travel designer vagina diode

I reorganized the look of this site a bit, particularly the right hand side bar, to hopefully be a tad more user-friendly. I also added a couple sections for my local content articles and travel articles. Hopefully, I'll be adding more content to those sections soon. In the meantime, if you desire to read more articles by yours truly, might I recommend that you pay a visit to the Blood Pudding Press blog (just click that lovely bloody telekinetic female to your right) and check out THAT right hand side bar for my little section called 'my reviews of others etc...' for a small plethora of book review writing and more.

As far as my FAVORITE kind of writing, poetry, I am slowly but surely working my way through the reading of the Dusie Issue 8 e-book (see previous entry), plus reading newly acquired print chapbooks by Laura Goldstein and Kate Durbin. Yay! Oh and I am also very delighted to report that three more of my designer vaginas have been chosen. They will be published in the upcoming second anniversary issue of the ever splendiferous diode! Woohoo! That makes four designer vaginas accepted, seven designer vaginas still in circulation, and probably at least a few more as-yet-to-be-written designer vaginas.

However, I think today's creative time is going to be pretty well used up with finishing a DIY feminist poetry publishing article and a Labor Day drinks article, designing chapbooks, sending out a Blood Pudding Press announcement, etc... Plus, I won a free ticket to a local concert tonight (The Crystal Method at BOMA) so am going to that. Busy not to be confused with busty. Also grappling with more job-related angst, but I'll keep that topic to myself for now.

fancy peckers

Happened upon this very pretty, fun looking website called Fancy Find, which has an appealing feature called Toybox Tuesdays, which is presently offering up (amongst other delectable offerings) a wondrous mermaid poem by Janelle Elyse Kihlstrom, which originally appeared upon Thirteen Myna Birds. I thought I'd share so that the poem could be experienced again, in a frilly pink new context:

http://fancyfind.com/2009/07/07/toybox-tuesday-july-7-2009/

Speaking of Thirteen Myna Birds, the latest flight formation is delightfully evocative, dark, and edgy. When I titled this post 'fancy peckers' I was thinking about sharp-beaked birds. Subject yourself unless you're a fraidy cat:

http://13myna.blogspot.com/

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P.S. First designer vagina acceptance; one designer vagina forthcoming in DIAGRAM.

Also a recent acceptance of a paper doll poem by ABJECTIVE, to be published on Halloween.

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Update: It would appear that someone happened upon the Thirteen Myna Birds blog this morning after searching for "naked feet spanking". Hmmm...

Other than that, I've had a stressful morning with too many variables.

More hairs probably turning gray.

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Contrary to popular belief, I'm sensitive and my feelings are easily hurt.

It seems like those closest to me should know this, but apparently they don't.

The popular belief part is inaccurate. There's pretty much nothing popular about me.

Oh well.

bloody jiggling jello squares (misshapen)

Yes, this same posting also appears upon the Bloody Ooze. I'm multi-tasking, okay? Maybe I should re-title this blog 'CandyDishDoom's More Businesslike Fratneral Twin'. Or maybe not.

Anyway, this review makes me really happy. I was having a not-so-hot day yesterday and this review came to my attention right before bed, whereupon my mood substantially improved and now I'm starting today in good spirits. I think that more good poetry news will be on its merry way very soon, so stay tuned.

I've also been alternating between paper dolls and designer vaginas in the realm of my own poetry writing and feeling pretty inspired. Okay, here's the re-post:

The new issue of The Chapbook Review includes a strangely delightful and lusciously edible (complete with take out menu) review of SPIDER VEIN IMPASTO, served up oh so creatively by daring diner Andrew Borgstrom.

SPIDER VEIN IMPASTO was (and still is, for that matter) the latest Blood Pudding Press multi-writer project, offering up some highly questionable wordmeats and bloody jiggling jello squares (misshapen) by a variety peculiarly yunmy poets.

After you read Borgstrom's wonderful assessment of this delectable project, you're probably going to want to acquire your very own copy. Lucky for you, they are still available for acquisition in the Blood Pudding Press shop at http://www.bloodpuddingpress.etsy.com/. With ribbon bindery and bakery lables even!

Read Borgstrom's review BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE, mutant muffins!http://thechapbookreview.com/current-issue/spider-vein-impasto/

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In other poetry news, I'm also quite excited about 'Tongue Like a Stinger', my new e-chapbook, to be published by Wheelhouse in mere days!

It's a mix of older and newer poetry--the older up to a few years old (and including my poem 'Some Explanations for Fainting Goats' which appeared in the Best of the Net 2007 Anthology and was also nominated for a Pushcart Prize, thanks to Prick of the Spindle)--the newer written within the last half year or so.

Earlier versions of this manuscript were in circulation for a few years under different titles, inlcuding 'Fainting Goats & Other Wayward Animals' and 'Mounting Sting', but I'm considerably more pleased with the newest 'Tongue Like a Stinger' incarnation and very happy it will be represented by Wheelhouse.

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Oh yeah and I also forgot to mention that one of my poems was chosen by the editors of Cherry Bleeds to appear in an upcoming anthology called 'Best Cuts'. They will be publishing 'Bouncy Ball', an earlier version of a piece that later became 'Cosmetic Surgery'.

You can swallow the bouncy ball inside 'PROJECTILE VOMIT', my 2008 e-chapbook published by Scantily Clad Press, here:

http://issuu.com/andrewlundwall/docs/julietcook_projectilevomit?mode=embed&documentId=081125231628-bf7eb1e54f464ca19fab878e71eb748a&layout=grey

And/or you can go under my knife for some hideous cosmetic surgey, version #2, which was published by Rain Fade, here:

http://www.rain-fade.com/poetry/58-cosmetic-surgery.html

Golly, I am just filled with poetry news today.

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AND YET ANOTHER little poetry tidbit, can you even believe it? As you may or may not have been informed, the very latest Blood Pudding Press poetry chapbook is lovely Lisa Ciccarello's 'At night, the dead:'

Well, if you'd like to view a photo of Lisa's sweet legs as she reads from this volume, then please do visit the Bloody Ooze.

Do sexy legs sell poetry?

designer vagina

Perhaps better than performing a botched surgical procedure upon one's pet (see previous entry) would be performing an oddly artsy preservation procedure upon one's pet. Read my article about rogue taxidermy here:

http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/1856189/rogue_taxidermy.html?cat=2

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Yesterday I kind of had to wonder about myself when I spent at least ten minutes of my online time scrolling through before & after photos of laser vaginal rejuvenation surgery. What was I doing and why?

Today, I realized that unbeknownst even to myself at the time, I had been conducting poetry research for a new series of poems called Designer Vagina. The series is already well underway and whee! Is it ever fun! Whatever lucky editor scores this little manuscript is going to be in for a treat--or perhaps I shall publish it myself!

Instead of calling it Designer Vagina by Juliet Cook it will be Juliet Cook's Designer Vagina.

Of course, that would also make a fabulous title for a female-centric literary magazine, but I already have my hands full, as it were.

Perhaps I should be blogging about something more subdued than designer vaginas, but I'm already restraining myself somewhat even as I type this.

I think it would be fun to start calling my poems in general designer vaginas.

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I do have a few slightly more subdued, affirmative new discoveries to share, too, but I'll let interested parties investigate for themselves, because I need to write, clean, force myself to schedule a doctor appointment (not a designer vagina consultation) and more, but check these out, if you please.

A wonderful documentary about the ephemeral creations of landscape artist Andy Goldsworthy:




The PS22 Chorus (singing a gorgeous Tori Amos song):