semi-random little personal blog post about pills and the beginning of my 2018 and Tutti Fuckin Fruity

Felt and sounded negative much of last week, do to having a random back muscle strain followed by an unexpected seizure later that day, which was a real bummer, especially combined with the fact that I was starting to feel worried that maybe the new manufacturer's variation of my seizure pill wasn't working well for me.

Honest question. Why in the hell are pills prescribed for unintentional brain glitches, unintentional mental disorders, and unintentional heath issues derived from corporate entities and money based companies and the same generic brand name can be made with different fillers, Manufactured by a Pharmaceutical Company in China and Distributed by a Healthcare U.S. LLC brand, whatever that even means?

I mean, with the new manufacturer's version of the same low dose pill I've been on for years, I was too often feeling like I was on some damned pill, with these unnatural thoughts and feelings of ramped up edginess and nerviness and little bits of panic (on the brink of panic attacks) and a kind of energy that didn't feel like my natural kind of energy. 

But I guess that's no big deal for one low dose pill to mess with someone's brain? 

Heck, what about the many people who are on (more than) one higher dosed pill(s)?

Maybe the average person doesn't think it's a very big deal that the generic versions of pharma pills change their filler ingredients, which basically consists of suddenly putting your body and brain on a different pill with the same name?

I think maybe I'm someone whose body and brain doesn't naturally adapt well to pills anyway.  I've hardly ever taken any pills, other than aspirin and ibuprofen for headaches and menstrual cramps, and the few times I've been prescribed a pill for a UTI or a sinus infection.

It seems like even low dose pills affect me too much. I remember one time, years ago, when I took some sort of sudafed pill for a sinus issue or a cold, and the next thing I knew, I couldn't sleep, I couldn't think normally, my mind was racing, my heart was racing, it was like everything had been unnaturally, uncomfortably sped up, like I had popped some illicit illegal speed drug when all I had done was taken a sudafed pill that you don't even need a prescription for.

And now one week after starting this new variation on my seizure pill, I had a new seizure. The edgy, unnatural, uncomfortable feelings finally seem to be settling down and hopefully they will go away soon.

Fingers crossed towards hoping that I'm finally getting used to the pill a few weeks in, because I don't really have any other options, other than trying another different version, crossing my fingers again, and having another few uncomfortable mental/physical weeks to get acclimated and decide if I'm okay, while people who aren't on ANY pills are trying to convince me that I'm fine. Sometimes I feel like telling these people who aren't on any pills to take my pills twice a day before they feel free to offer me any personal assessment about the matter. I mean seriously you guys, how do you know how this feels? You can research it online, but it's not inside your own body and mind - yet parts of you still seem to feel as if your online assessment outweighs my own personal mental/physical experience?

I don't think it's anyone's personal fault if their brain can't easily acclimate itself to a new generic, semi-corporate pill in less than a week. Maybe I'm just stating/slightly explaining the obvious out loud.

As for my new Tutti Fuckin Fruity shirt, it was an Xmas gift from my main man. 


TWO 2017 Chaps for a lower price - Cutting Eyes by Den Bleyker, Thirsty Bones by Lilius, Fuck Cancer Poems by Grover, Paloma by Hudgens

Set of TWO! – Get two 2017 Blood Pudding Press Poetry Chapbooks for a substantially reduced price!

Choose TWO among the following four:

-Cutting Eyes From Ghosts by Ariana D. Den Bleyker

-Thirsty Bones by Sarah Lilius

-Fuck Cancer Poems by Michael Grover

-Paloma by Jennifer E. Hudgens

Each of these four poetry chapbooks costs $7.00 individually; with this listing, you will pay $10.00 for two of them, saving $4.00.https://www.etsy.com/listing/569977587/two-2017-chaps-for-a-lower-price-cutting?ref=shop_home_active_7

Find out more about each of these chapbooks by perusing their individual item listings.

Cutting Eyes From Ghosts - https://www.etsy.com/listing/512469489/new-cutting-eyes-from-ghosts-by-ariana-d?ref=shop_home_feat_3

Thirsty Bones - https://www.etsy.com/listing/522735584/new-thirsty-bones-by-sarah-lilius-2017?ref=related-3

Fuck Cancer Poems - https://www.etsy.com/listing/560564955/new-fuck-cancer-poems-by-michael-grover?ref=listing-shop-header-1

Paloma - https://www.etsy.com/listing/562664430/new-paloma-by-jennifer-e-hudgens?ref=shop_home_active_1

They are indeed available separately, but buy two together and acquire double the powerful poetry for a special rate.


Please name the two chapbooks you would like within the Notes section of your purchase.

If you have color preferences, as described in the individual listings, feel free to leave a note about the colors you would like too.


Feel free to let me know if you have any questions/concerns. 

Shipping is usually handled within 1-3 business days after your purchase.


NEW! Paloma Reviewed at Rag Queen Periodical

"If grief is another country, Jennifer Hudgen’s poems navigate that terrain like a native. Her chapbook from the ever amazing Blood Pudding Press, is a carnivalesque romp through loss using the often sharp edges of memory, keen insight and a healthy dose of rage at what is snatched from us without warning.
These 14 prose poems, unevenly spaced, startle with their pyrotechnic wordplay, as they call up the author’s memories and reminiscences, jumping in with both feet, explicit yet honest, full of blind rage at times, yet so tender and so evocative throughout that what she grieves, grieves the reader, too."
from a new review by Michelle Reale at Rag Queen Periodical, of the new Blood Pudding Press poetry chapbook, "Paloma" by Jennifer E. Hudgens


Another copy of "Paloma" has found a new home!

Craig Firsdon received his copy of the new Blood Pudding Press poetry chapbook, "Paloma" by Jennifer E. Hudgens.
Read Craig's extremely kind words about Blood Pudding Press and this chapbook and then consider acquiring your very own copy of "Paloma", via the link below. 
"A little something I just got in the mail standing right next to something special that I have been working on! Everything Juliet Cook and Blood Pudding Press puts out are pure hand made works of art. Go check them out.
Also what I have read so far of Paloma by Jennifer E. Hudgens is fantastic."



A few photos of the Author Copies of "Paloma" taken by Jennifer E. Hudgens

Jennifer E. Hudgens received their author copies of the new Blood Pudding Press poetry chapbook, 'Paloma", shortly before the New Year began - and here are some photos Hudgens shared.

Acquire your very own copy of "Paloma" HERE - https://www.etsy.com/listing/562664430/new-paloma-by-jennifer-e-hudgens?ref=shop_home_active_1)

The front cover
The front and back covers 
The inside back cover

Another copy of "Paloma" has found a new home!

Vin Whitman received a copy of the new Blood Pudding Press poetry chapbook, "Paloma" by Jennifer E. Hudgens!
(Thank you to Vin Whitman for sharing this photo - and anyone else who is interested in acquiring their very own copy of "Paloma" can do so HERE - https://www.etsy.com/listing/562664430/new-paloma-by-jennifer-e-hudgens?ref=shop_home_active_1)

A copy of "Paloma" has found a new home!

John Burroughs received his copy of the new Blood Pudding Press poetry chapbook, "Paloma" by Jennifer E. Hudgens (surrounded by 6 chapbooks by T Kilgore Splake).

(thank you to John Burroughs for taking this photo) 

You can acquire your own copy of "Paloma" by Jennifer E. Hudgens, HERE -https://www.etsy.com/listing/562664430/new-paloma-by-jennifer-e-hudgens?ref=shop_home_active_1

NEW Paper and Ink Zine "GIRLS TO THE FRONT" available for Pre-order!

Very excited to have a poem in Issue 12 of Paper and Ink Zine - "GIRLS TO THE FRONT" all women issue - which is now available for Pre-order!



NEW in Black Poppy Review - Two New Poems by Juliet Cook - Happy New Year!

Delighted to have two new poems appearing at Black Poppy Review on the first day of the New Year, 2018!
"Then her body will emerge from the incinerator. 
Ashes will turn into dark flowered trees.
New eyes will open inside the branches"
from my poem "Dark Light"

Me designing a chapbook (Paloma by Jennifer E. Hudgens)

The night before New Year's Eve (Saturday December 30), a photo D. took of me, designing a copy of the new Blood Pudding Press poetry chapbook, "Paloma" by Jennifer E. Hudgens.

(You can acquire your own copy of "Paloma" by Jennifer E. Hudgens, within the Blood Pudding Press shop HERE - https://www.etsy.com/listing/562664430/new-paloma-by-jennifer-e-hudgens?ref=shop_home_active_1 )