Me and a woman I went to high school with walked to the door of a store to buy condoms. Two men were with us too, but they weren’t our significant others or sex partners, just casual male friends standing behind us and despite their presence, we were in charge of our own condom choosing and buying.
The other woman knew what she was doing, had obviously interacted with the costumer service man before and even had a semi-secret code word related to her condom purchase. As for me, this was my first time buying condoms – and since I wasn’t buying them with a particular partner in mind (because I didn’t have a partner), I had no idea what brand or variety to choose. I was asked what size I wanted and how should I know? I was asked if I wanted any special features and I didn’t know that either.
Since I wasn’t buying condoms with a particular cock in mind, I said standard size. The other woman had spoken softly, and when she told him what she wanted, he was standing right in front of her; but when I was asked what I wanted, he was standing across the room next to the various condom accoutrements and so I had to loudly announce (almost yell) my uncertain answer in front of the whole store.
Then I got brought a huge jar-sized contraption (about triple the size of a mayo jar), with hundreds of condoms inside, all of them unpackaged and tiny. Less than half the size of an un-blown up balloon. I wasn’t sure if I was handed this large jar with tiny condoms because he thought I wanted to buy the whole jar or if I was supposed to take off the lid and pull out the amount I actually wanted.
The woman next to me knew what she wanted and quickly got what she always got.
The two men behind us just stood there saying nothing and waiting for me to be done.
I’m not an easily embarrassed person; sex talk doesn’t bother me. But I am a very uncertain person and I felt uncomfortable and slightly embarrassed about myself for not having a helpful partner (or any partner for that matter), not knowing what to do or choose when handed a huge container full of tiny condoms, and feeling like a clueless condom gimp.
A clueless sex, love, relationship gimp.
An odd little dream based on my current uncertainty about all those things.