Hello September! I hope my Fall is filled with poetry and a few other personal thoughts...

My full-length poetry book "Malformed Confetti" is now approaching 6 years old (already) and still exists (see the photo links below). I still exist too.

I do tend to assemble poetry chapbook manuscripts more than full-length manuscripts. I've had 8 different chapbook manuscripts published in the last 6 years (with another new one forthcoming soon), but this book is still my most recent full-length. It takes me a long time to assemble full-lengths and overall, I'm more drawn to shorter length books. I have my reasons. BUT with that said, I should really try to focus on assembling my next full-length manuscript soon. It's been in-progress for years.

I've been having trouble sleeping soundly lately, so the other night in bed (while not sleeping), I was thinking about how my first individual full-length poetry book was named "Horrific Confection" and then my second one was named "Malformed Confetti" and then it suddenly and unexpectedly popped into my noggin that maybe my next one should be named "Broken Stethoscope". Not sure exactly where that came from, but it felt like a possible plan.

The last few months have not been my most creatively productive, but this month is off to a pretty good start. I've already sent out five poetry submissions this month and one query (I'm not the greatest at querying). I finished writing three semi-interconnected new poems. I finished revising an older poem (and have two more poem revisions in progress). I also have two other new poems in progress that I hope to revisit more soon. Oh wait, actually, I sent out six poetry submissions so far this month, but one of them resulted in a rejection about three hours after submitting it. So hopefully I'll receive a new acceptance semi-soon.

I have more to say but it will have to wait until later.

One more thing I will mention for now (without getting into much detail as to why) is that I am trying to avoid volatile negativity on social media or behavior that feels toxic to me whatever its intention might be. I would rather place my negativity, anger, and other strong emotions inside my poetry and art (and the few people I trust in terms of expressing myself personally). Of course there are always exceptions.

I wish my friends a genuinely creative September.

A photo of my 6 Year old poetry book, Malformed Confetti (published by Crisis Chronicles in October 2018).

You can acquire your own copy of Malformed Confetti from Crisis Chronicles Press, HERE - https://ccpress.blogspot.com/2018/10/Cook102.html

Or from Amazon, HERE - https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1640929738/ref=cm_sw_r_tw_myi?m=AXH8DEUFPPU2O

Or directly from my own Blood Pudding Press shop, HERE - https://www.etsy.com/listing/641070988/malformed-confetti-by-juliet-cook-2018?ref=shop_home_feat_1

Poetry by Juliet Cook

Gorgeous cover art by Simona Candini.

Photo taken by Crisis Chronicles Press editor, John Burroughs

I'm not always aiming for positive emotions...

Sometimes it's hard to explain why I am drawn towards certain kinds of creative writing, visual art, and photographic art that others might view or interpret as gross, gory, unsettling, disturbing, or even offensive, because there are various different reasons, sometimes fused together and somewhat different depending on the piece of art.

One of those reasons is that earlier on in my life, I feel like I experienced quite a few examples of people choosing to hide (or avoid knowledge or awareness of) parts of reality that they found disturbing. I understand not revealing certain disturbing aspects of reality to little kids (but also some little kids don't even have the privilege of being able to avoid certain disturbing aspects of reality), but I also think that some adults would rather act like disturbing aspects of reality don't really exist forever. On one hand, that's an individual choice, but on the other hand it's a choice that not everyone has the privilege to make if they're surrounded by a different part of reality.

With my own poetry/art OR poetry/art by others that I choose to share, I'm not purposely aiming to shock or offend, but I'm also not aiming to keep it calm or pretty or avoid the unpleasant or bothersome. There are a variety of different kinds of poetry/art I'm drawn to in some ways, but among those, I've always been drawn towards some dark, unsettling, and disturbing. Why? I don't know exactly or maybe that's because there's a variety of different reasons, depending on the art and other factors. Sometimes because it stimulates my brain and catalyzes creative impulses. Sometimes because it has a strong affect on my emotions (and I'm not always aiming for positive emotions). Sometimes because I'd rather feel angry than sad. Sometimes because I'd rather be made aware of/attempt to confront something disturbing or disgusting than stay unaware of it, hidden from it, or choose to just ignore it. Which is not to say I never ignore things. Sometimes I do.

I would never personally kill an animal, but I've taken photos of dead birds and dead baby bird fetuses before, not because I thought it was shocking or titillating but partly because it's a small but unsettling part of reality that many people would rather just walk past and ignore. Also because I'm so disturbed by death or by life just visually disappearing.

Some years ago when I had my dog put to sleep (which in my opinion is a pretty disturbing phrase and a very difficult experience) and then brought his dead body back to my house, I was drawn to take a few photos of him, because that was the last time I was going to see his body. I had loved my dog and I had taken tons of photos of him when he was alive. But I only snapped one really quick one after he was dead, because my parents were over and that might have freaked them out and seemed ridiculously weird to them. They liked my dog too, but everyone processes and handles these things somewhat differently. I guess I'm drawn to someone incorporate death into art, since I'm so into art, and if something still exists in art then it doesn't seem entirely dead?

I'm much more disturbed by the idea of death/non-existence and the uncaringness of death itself and by people just tossing dead animals in a big trash heap like they're garbage than I am of people photographing that unsettling part of reality and presenting it in order to provoke thoughts and feelings (which is part of what I think art does).

With this interconnected small series of poems I'm currently in the process of working on, one of them is trying to express a difference between fantasy horror films and documentation of real life violence, in terms of some people implying it's not a good idea to watch too many horror films but also implying that we should try to ignore many aspects of real life violence. I'm having a hard time with the poem for some reason. Who knows? Maybe semi-sorting through these thoughts of mine here and then copying and pasting them next to my poem-in-progress might help me finish it soon. Or maybe not.