Dreaming of my dead dog (my fault)...

Hard to believe that my favorite dog ever, Sockeye, died approximately 10 years ago, because it certainly doesn't feel like that long ago, and maybe I'm wrong or my mind is somewhat screwed up, and my mind is terrible with timing, but...

I tried to look up (on facebook) when Sockeye had died, but my fb Life Events seem to have been erased (see my blog post below this one for more thoughts on that...), which made me feel tempted to leave the fb platform (because if they're trying to erase individual's life events, then what else will they try to erase?...) etc...

But I did see an old photo of mine, which gave me the impression that Sockeye had died about 10 years ago, which is hard to believe, but...

The reason I was trying to remember the timing of his death was because Sockeye unexpectedly appeared in one of my dreams Sunday.

In the dream, Sockeye was in a small cage, in a bedroom, in the dark, and I felt guilty that he was in the cage, but unsure if I was the one who had (somehow inadvertently) caged him. (I did not choose to regularly place him in small cages in my real life. The only time he was caged was when he was a puppy and we temporarily kept him in a decent sized cage in the bedroom when we went to bed and when I/he was in someone else's house who wanted/needed him caged).

So in this dream, I wasn't sure if I was in my own bedroom or someone else's bedroom. I felt confused. Because if it was my own bedroom, then why would my own adult dog be in a cage? Because dogs in cages seem kind of like hell to me. Because if you don't want a dog (or cat or other pet) around you, then just don't get a dog. Because adults caging other adults seems like a horrific control freak horror fest.

Dreams don't always make logical sense (although neither do many parts of so-called reality these days), so I figured the disconcerting cage was in my bedroom (for whatever illogical reasons), since Sockeye was there. Maybe my bedroom had somehow changed. But my uncertain feelings about the situation caused me to feel overly anxious, bordering on panicky.

I removed Sockeye from the cage and realized he needed to go outside. I thought I had taken him outside. But then suddenly I was inside another somewhat unfamiliar small room in front of my computer and his leash was hanging out of the door, but he wasn't attached to his leash and it was my fault. I thought I had put his leash on him, a leash with a long cord, and affixed the cord to the door so he couldn't go terribly far, but either I had forgotten to attach the cord to the leash or something unexpected had happened, and I was either lazy or overly confused or ridiculously discombobulated or SOMETHING, for not going outside with my dog.

And now he was disconnected from his leash or cord or me. And as soon as I noticed the disconnection, I hurried outside to try to find him before it was too late.

And there was snow on the ground and the atmosphere/air/sky seemed to be quickly changing from light to dark.

There was a growling sound in the distance and I wasn't sure if it was Sockeye growling at another creature or another creature growling at Sockeye or if my mind was making it up. But as far as I can recall, in real life, Sockeye didn't growl. But maybe I don't recall correctly. But what is correct? 

The dream's outdoor location resembled my parent's long back yard, and it's not too uncommon for them to see deer there, so maybe Sockeye had unexpectedly encountered a deer, but I don't think deer growl (but maybe I'm wrong), but nor did my Boston Terrier (but maybe I'm wrong), and I didn't know what I should do, other than walk toward the growling sound and call his name, because then if he heard me, maybe he'd leave a potential attack scene. I didn't want anyone to be attacked, injured, or killed just because they ended up in the wrong space at the wrong time (and especially if I was the one who had accidentally gotten them into that space).

When I first stepped outside in this dream, to see if I could see him, I started walking though snow, calling his name, but the horizon seemed to shift very quickly. My initial reaction was that maybe when I had stepped outside to try to find him was right when the horizon was shifting from light to dark. But then I thought, the horizon doesn't shift from light to dark THAT fast. So I'm either suddenly losing my vision or I'm about to have a seizure in the snow or both.

I'll wake up in the snow and my dog will be lost forever.

And it will be my fault.

And I won't be able to see.

And I will be freezing.

I woke up from the dream but then a few past memories were in my head and one of them was my fault.

AI is Invading our Personalized Specifics/ AI is Invading our Spaces and Species

Facebook is becoming increasingly bothersome to me lately. I've had the same facebook page for many, many years and I know online sites change their layout and other elements from time to time and we're not always going to be fans of such changes, but more recently, some of the changes have caused me to feel tempted to shut down my facebook page (I'm not going to yet, but I've been more tempted than ever).

For many years, I've been putting certain important-to-me life events (including poetry chapbooks/books but other personal life events too) in the Life Events section of my facebook page and now I don't even know where that section is/how to access it. Does it even exist anymore or did facebook get rid of it and thus delete all the life events I had shared over many years?

And lately, every time I visit my own fb page, an AI work partner shows up at the top of my page, even though I've never used this work partner, have never expressed any interest in doing so, and don't want to, because I dislike AI. Others can use AI if they choose to, but does it need to be forced upon those of us who have never expressed interest in using it, dislike it, and yet it still automatically appears at the top of our pages, like it's trying to force itself upon us?

And facebook groups that I haven't even joined are now showing up at the top of my Groups section, seeming to imply that I'm somehow involved in them (or should be), even though I'm not.

And I have a lot of facebook "friends" that I've accumulated over the years and the majority of my Wall Posts are only made visible to those friends. I do sometimes make certain poetry oriented posts public, but again, the majority of my posts are only made visible to my fb friends. But recently, I've noticed that posts of mine that I only made visible to my facebook friends are being "liked" by people I'm not facebook friends with, so what is up with that? As in, how did they even see those posts? I'm not referring to posts that I have other people tagged in; I'm well aware that in those cases, the tagged people's friends can see those posts too. I'm referring to posts that I have NOBODY tagged in other than myself, so I'm not sure how people I'm not even friends with can see them. If I log out of my own page and then type my name in the Search box, I can't even see posts of mine that aren't public, so I'm not sure how some other people can.

Maybe I'm just semi-cluelessly babbling into the ever changing internet void here. Maybe it's just supposed to be photo bomb, photo bomb, photo bomb (real or fake) and none of us are supposed to do anything other than that.

What catalyzed this post was because I was going to write about a disconcerting dream I had that involved my deceased dog. I'm terrible with timing and time seems to increasingly speed race faster and faster and faster to the point that sometimes things that happened 5 or more years ago seem as if they were just 1 or 2 years ago. I wasn't sure how long ago my dog had passed away, but I knew I had shared that in my Life Events section on facebook, so I was going to view that section to remind myself when. But now that Life Events section doesn't appear to exist anymore or at least I can't find it. And while trying to find that, I saw various Groups that I'm not even a member of showing up in my Group section and blah blah blah...

It seems as if the only things that are important anymore online are what's happening RIGHT NOW. As in TODAY or sometime in the LAST WEEK or so.

Mind you, I do tend to be a person who is focused on the present more than the past. But for me, the present doesn't just mean the last few minutes or days or weeks or even the last few months or even the last few years. The present means focusing on the present more than the past. But that doesn't mean just quickly and easily and casually deleting the past.

To reiterate, I have no desire to focus on the past more than the present. But that doesn't mean I want to delete the past. And I certainly don't want other people or online sites or ROBOTS to quickly delete whatever they feel like quickly deleting whenever they feel like quickly deleting it.

I feel like so many online sites and AI trying to overtake such sites is geared towards trying to make people be less and less individualistic, less and less personally expressive, less and less uniquely human beings. Geared towards copying and pasting. Geared towards online sites and non-human voices trying to speak for you. Geared towards quickly shared photo drops instead of thought out words. I like some photos. I like some memes. But I don't like those forms of sharing to outweigh personalized words. And I sure as hell don't want online robots speaking for me.

For crying out loud, these days if we're saying Happy Birthday to a friend online, gosh forbid we take the time to type our own sentence (or two or three words) instead of just quickly clicking on some computerized clichéd robo-word...

NEW! The First Thirteen Myna Birds Flock of 2026 is HERE...

It has been a while, but in this month of March 2026, I am finally unveiling a new Thirteen Myna Birds flock, the first of this year!

Starting with thirteen new poems by Jason Ryberg, Donna Pucciani, Mark J. Mitchell, Joshua Walker, SJ Harrold, and Maceo Nightingale.

All HERE - http://13myna.blogspot.com/

***

"Too much reality hurt and cold facts couldn’t be climbed - Her branch has vanished - keys dangled from a skinny wrist - voices bleed downstage - in darkening offices and bedrooms all over America - guilt that moves because it must - a document now shredded - sending what’s left of their leaves to scatter in every direction - clues that get missed, like dull sets that fly to darkness - the goddamn cynics and nihilists - Red eyed rats coughed out tracking devices - Life begins as a wriggly maggot - worms slithered out a bleeding heart - The years rot slow in mason jars - sudden tragedy, or the inexplicable prospect of non-being"

***

I still have a lot more submissions in my inbox to read and consider and respond to in phases and I am hoping to add MORE creative work to this Myna Birds flock at different times in March and April, so stay tuned.

But for now, these are your starting thirteen, which will stay up at least throughout March and April (probably longer) with more poems and art added to the mix from time to time.

NEW! I am delighted to have a new short poem, "Haunted Escape" appearing in Luna Luna Magazine!

"Grim husks drift apart
so the insides can escape
but where do they go?"

from my poem "Haunted Escape", newly appearing in Luna Luna Magazine 

read more here (and read the other poems there too) - https://www.lunalunamagazine.com/blog/poetry-juliet-cook

Thank you very much to Lisa Marie Basile. I am delighted to be included in Luna Luna.

A few photos of me with my Pure Sleeze Press poetry chapbook AND my Pure Sleeze shirt!

I had meant to share some photos like this well over a month ago, of me wearing my newish Pure Sleeze shirt (which Darryl got me for Xmas) while holding my Pure Sleeze poetry chapbook (Blue Stingers Instead of Wings, published by Pure Sleeze Press in April 2025, with cover art by Chad M. Horn), but the first set of photos I attempted either had half of the chapbook missing or parts of the Pure Sleeze missing off the shirt. Plus on top of that, the older I get the less prone I am to taking selfies because I'm not one of those people who filters my photos, but the older I get, the less I like looking at photos of myself and feeling like I look old (I probably shouldn't say that, but just being honest). But the chapbook is not old and neither is the shirt and you can get one (or both or more than both) for yourself in the Pure Sleeze shop HERE - https://puresleezepress.bigcartel.com/products On a side note, I also have a few copies of my Blue Stingers Instead of Wings chapbook available directly from me or in the Blood Pudding Press shop HERE - https://www.etsy.com/listing/4314653197/new-blue-stingers-instead-of-wings

NEW! I am delighted to share 3 new poems of mine, newly appearing in Burning House Press!

"Screaming internally then constricting
my throat with heaves and gasps and
compulsions, every membrane screaming
obsessive images about how men are looking

at creampie dripping down
younger women's thighs
and I'm a boring middle
aged woman his age"

in "Intrusive Obsession", one of my three poems in Burning House Press 

read more HERE - https://burninghousepress.com/2026/02/12/3-poems-by-juliet-cook/

NEW! I am excited and delighted that a new poem of mine, "Disengaged" is newly appearing In Conversation at The Literary Underground!

"I don't let anyone inside
if they don't reveal who they are.
I hide in my closet and wait
for them to leave a mannequin
in front of my garage or throw
stale bread across my lawn."

the beginning of my poem "Disengaged", which appears In Conversation at The Literary Underground today

 
read more HERE - https://theliteraryunderground.org/blog/2026/01/28/disengaged-by-juliet-cook/

NEW! I am delighted by this phenomenal new Review of my two most recent poetry chapbooks!

I don't visit my goodreads account every day nor even every week, but I visited it yesterday and was delighted to unexpectedly encounter this phenomenal new review of my two most recent poetry chapbooks ("REVOLTING" published by Cul-de-sac of Blood in November 2024 and "Blue Stingers Instead of Wings" published by Pure Sleeze Press in April 2025)!

The review was written by Scott C. Holstad, a poet I've known for many years (and am currently in the process of reading his recent full-length poetry book, "Surviving Immortality Again" published by Alien Buddha Press 2025).

Here's most of what he had to say:

"It didn't take long into reading this poetry collection (REVOLTING) for me to start saying "Wow!" and "Holy Shit!" and so on. When I finished, I didn't immediately respond but stopped to ponder because Juliet Cook is so very talented, has such a way with words, is such a unique and gifted poet and communicator that I really wanted to soak it all in, perhaps move on to another similar collection of hers (Blue Stingers Instead of Wings) -- which I did, reading them back to back twice -- because I get so much more out of Juliet's work and words than most other contemporary poets, and if I sound biased, I make no apologies. I've had the good fortune to "know" (electronically, never having yet met in person) Ms. Cook for some two decades, and I've seen her grow from an aspiring poet with unique skills to express what others often can't -- or won't -- to a towering literary giant, going places where others are often either too scared or never come back from, and she OWNS things many others can never even see. I've long admired just the very titles of so many of her poems and books -- witness "A Moldy Bathtub Is a Sin and You Must Repent Forever, Because She Said So" or "Hagfish Slime" for example, the latter of which contains lines I can only admire, such as "Screaming instead of / quietly swimming / as they try to swallow me / or throw me away." That is shit I feel I can really relate to, even if I might not want to. I often feel like Juliet does or could speak for me so many times over, as a survivor, observer, truly unique creative entity and I admire her skills so very much.

These words and my reactions apply to Blue Stingers as well, and I mention this because I'd hoped and intended to write a review for each but won't be able to as I've been in the hospital and had to have emergency surgery on my writing hand, while I'm lining up a bigger surgery for the arm and shoulder on the same side, so it's very difficult for me to write/type at the present, and I'm sorry for that. But for what it's worth, these two poetry collections were among the best I've read in a long time, and are among my immediate favorites."

Here's a link to the whole wonderful review and I'll link to the chapbooks near the bottom of this post.

https://www.goodreads.com/review/show/8031261089

***

This review is a wonderful end of year poetry oriented gift for me.

I certainly don't think of myself as a "towering literary giant", as he refers to me in part of his review. To the contrary, oftentimes in recent years, I tend to think of myself as becoming increasingly invisible poetry-wise, for various different reasons, but at least in part because I don't want to constantly promote myself or try to sell myself to others. I mean, I'm certainly not against self promotion and I do think it's a necessary part of the process when it comes to sharing one's poetry, if you want others to possibly become aware of your creative work. BUT on the other hand, I personally don't want to be one of those writers who comes across as someone who seems to think their creative work is way more special and meaningful and important and worthy of tons of attention than hundreds of other writer's creative work, because how the heck do I know how important my own work is to others?

I know what my poetry means to me. But I'm not going to tell anyone else what it should or shouldn't mean to them, because I don't know. What my poetry means to other people is up to them and I don't want to slam myself in a bunch of people's faces and act like I deserve more attention because how do I know what sort of attention my writing does or doesn't deserve?

Again, I know what my poetry means to me. I don't know what it means to others unless they choose to tell me. Which is part of the reason why unexpected positive reviews are so delightful. I knew Scott Holstad was likely to read these chapbooks of mine at some point in time (because I recently traded him these chapbooks for his recent full-length book), but I had no idea he was going to write a review and I truly appreciate this unexpected treat.

If a few (or more than a few) people are drawn to my poetry, whether they're friends or total strangers or somewhere in between, then that feels wonderful. And if someone likes my poetry I want it to be because of the actual poetry.

***

Here is where you can acquire the two chapbooks reviewed by Scott Holstad:


REVOLTING is available from Cul-de-sac of Blood HERE - https://www.culdesacofblood.com/books

Also available from my own Blood Pudding Press shop HERE - https://www.etsy.com/listing/1851916682/revolting-poetry-chapbook-by-juliet-cook


AND Blue Stingers Instead of Wings is available from Pure Sleeze Press HERE - https://puresleezepress.bigcartel.com/product/blue-stingers-instead-of-wings

Also available from my own Blood Pudding Press shop HERE - https://www.etsy.com/listing/4314653197/new-blue-stingers-instead-of-wings

NEW! Excited and delighted to have a new poem running around the darkly delicious Cul-de-sac of Blood!

"Old doll head cracked with
evil fossil stuck inside
like expired cream

filling spilling out."

in my poem "Another Pie in the Face"

Delighted this poem is running around the darkly delicious Cul-de-sac of Blood track, HERE! - https://www.culdesacofblood.com/juliet-cook-5

***

Speaking of Cul-de-sac of Blood and unsettling poetry, you can still acquire my poetry chapbook, "REVOLTING", which was published by Cul-de-sac of Blood last year, directly from the Cul-de-sac HERE - https://www.culdesacofblood.com/books

Or from my own Blood Pudding Press shop HERE - https://www.etsy.com/listing/1851916682/new-revolting-by-juliet-cook-2024-poetry

NEW! Excited and delighted to have another new poem appearing in MasticadoresUSA - “Old Photo Booth Inside a Box Inside a Basement”!

"This sort of semi-insomnia
inside which you're half

asleep, but not entirely
and it's hard to differentiate

between dreams and reality. Who are you?
You don't know what to believe.

Is anything real?"

I am delighted to have a new poem, “Old Photo Booth Inside a Box Inside a Basement”, newly appearing in MasticadoresUSA today. You can read more of my poem HERE - https://masticadoresusa.wordpress.com/2025/12/12/old-photo-booth-inside-a-box-inside-a-basement-by-juliet-cook/

I hope your December has glimmers of real if you want it to, in whatever way you want it to.