Showing posts with label aging. Show all posts
Showing posts with label aging. Show all posts

9/30/26

Young Madonna/Old Whore (Judging women's bodies and what they should or shouldn't do or show, based on looks and age)...

Regardless of how I (or you or anyone) feel(s) about Madonna's music, her performance style, or her personality/persona, what bothers me is that about 90% of what I'm hearing/reading/seeing in terms of people commenting about her right now has little or nothing to do with the music. It mostly has to do with the way she looks and her age. As in, she looks old. Or what the heck did she do to her face? Or what the heck did she do to her body? Or even if she doesn't look old, she's too old to be dressing that way or showing her body that way.

Regardless of how it's done, "aging in the spotlight" tends to generate lots of criticism for celebrities (especially celebrity women), no matter how they choose to handle aging /whether they handle it naturally or unnaturally or somewhere in between. They're trying to look too young for their age OR they look old and are not trying hard enough OR somehow both at the same time or some other harsh looks-based critique. So does that mean once you hit a certain age and/or look a certain age, you just shouldn't allow yourself to be in the spotlight at all anymore? You should just make yourself invisible? You should just die?
What also bothers me in regards to the age related looks-based criticism is that it seems like more than half of the people who criticize other women's bodies, dress styles, and other aspects of their appearance are other women. Why is that? Because since we're judged, we want to judge others?
Of course we all have our own styles and points of view and nobody has to automatically like or approve of anyone's else's styles or automatically agree with anyone else's points of view. But with women, why does it so frequently have to be a looks-based, age-based, body focused sort of critique? The criticism and insults, I mean. But heck, even many supposed compliments directed at women seem to work that way too, such as, "You look so young for your age" or "You don't look a day over 30 or 40 (or some other age that is significantly younger than your actual age)" or "You haven't aged in years" insinuating that looking good is based on looking younger than you actually are.
But then at some point, we supposedly hit an age where looking younger than our actual age or dressing younger than our actual age (whatever any of that even actually means or whatever the heck the age is where we hit that point) suddenly starts to make us look silly or ridiculous or like some sort of embarrassing spectacle to be looked down upon and mocked and made fun of for trying to portray ourselves as younger than we actually are.
As far as I'm concerned, we all have our own styles and we should all choose to dress (and otherwise display and express ourselves) however we choose to dress (and otherwise display and express ourselves) and do whatever we choose to do with our own style and voices and faces and bodies, regardless of our age or size or other people's standards. We're going to be criticized no matter what we do, unless we completely invisibilize ourselves.
In case anyone isn't aware of this, the reason I mentioned Madonna at the beginning of this post is because different posts about her have been showing up the last few days, catalyzed by her performance and appearance during the 2026 MTV VMA's, which were on this past Sunday night (I didn't watch the show, because I didn't realize it was on until afterwards, but I watched some videos afterwards to get an idea for what people were commenting about).
Again, she (and anyone) can dress however she chooses to dress, she doesn't have to stop dressing or performing a certain way because she's a certain age or because of other people's opinions or criticisms.
But also this is not just about Madonna. It's about how so much of what we choose to publicly comment on regarding women (especially their appearances and how they choose to express themselves) is focused on their age and their looks and their personal style and personal expression. Their clothes and their body types. They're too old to be wearing this, they're too young to be wearing this, they're too big, they're unhealthy, they're too little, they're probably anorexic, their dress style is too revealing, their performance was over-sexualized, which would be perfectly fine if they were this particular age and had this particular body type according to this particular person or this particular magazine or this particular algorithmic robo-cop.
Madonna might not care all that much about other people's negative comments about her, because she still has plenty of people who support her and admire her too, regardless of online, social media critique and criticism, which granted every well known celebrity is going to generate, but with women it does seem to be more about their bodies and their age than it is with men.
Again, she (and all of us) can wear whatever she chooses to and present herself however she chooses to. She can show as much of her body as she wants to. She can pull a laser pointer out of her ass if she wants to, because it's her ass. She can do whatever she chooses to do with her own body.
But none of this means that men (or anyone else) can do whatever they want to do with a woman's (or anyone else's) body, without the other person's consent.
Sometimes I feel like some parts of what generates so much criticism of women's bodies is because some other women are uncomfortable with their own bodies and thus criticize women who feel free to show off or publicly display their bodies and some men don't like the fact that they can't be in control of whatever woman's body they desire to be in control of, so they harshly criticize or make fun of women who choose to display their bodies for their own reasons and by their own chosen set of personal standards. (On a side note, I'll admit this post of mine is not specifically addressing cosmetic surgery, which is also a personal choice to an extent, but which could also generate a whole different post)

5/13/26

NEW! I am very excited to share that my poem "Too Much or Not Enough" is appearing In Conversation at The Literary Underground!

"We’re not bleeding yet, then we’re too bloody,
then we’re dried out, thrown away.

We’re too little or too big or
nothing special. We used to be
doll-like but kept growing bigger
and older and closer to disintegration."

the beginning of my poem, "Too Much or Not Enough", which is newly appearing In Conversation at The Literary Underground!

read more by clicking the link below...

https://theliteraryunderground.org/blog/2026/05/13/too-much-or-not-enough-by-juliet-cook/

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Currently this is the first poem in a sequence of interconnected poems I've been working on for quite a while now, so I guess I shall see what happens with that. Maybe when it's finally semi-done, I may try to turn it into a chapbook length manuscript of sorts.

10/16/25

Speed racing faster and faster (a few days before I turn 53)...

One thing about pretty much all photos or posts when I check out my facebook Memories lately is that many of them do not feel anywhere near as old as they tell me that they are. Like in terms of the passage of time and how my brain works. Sometimes photos from 5 Years Ago feel they were more like 2 Years Ago (or a little more or a little less, because numbers and time are ongoing confusion)...

Then I'll see some Memory from 1 or 2 Years Ago that feels like it was just a few months ago or less than half a year.
Is it like this for everyone? The older you get, the more time feels like it's speed racing by, faster and faster and faster?
For me, time already felt like it was moving fast when I was in my late teens. Then I didn't want my 4 year college experience to end as quickly as it felt like it did. Then suddenly I was about to turn 30 (which seemed way too old to me at that time). Then I was about to turn 40, but still felt like I was in good shape physically.
Then shortly after turning 43, I started to semi-randomly gain weight and have various other unenjoyable perimenopausal symptoms that lasted for years, but I don't want to get into that, other than that happened too past too.
Now I'll be turning 53 in just a few short days (well actually tomorrow).
And now I'm this (more than?) middle-aged woman who doesn't feel as old as I actually am mentally (whatever that means) and who doesn't feel as old as I look and who doesn't want to keep getting older so fast, but you either keep getting older or you die and I hate death (and the older you get, the more people you know die).
And back to how fast time goes. It's been moving fast for me for a long time, but in more recent years, it seems increasingly ridiculously faster.
On a side note, I've not been a fan of traditional holiday seasons for years, but anymore time seems to move so darn fast, that it's hard to tell the difference between one holiday season and the next, which in a way makes it feel even worse (or more meaningless?). Like let's just jumpstart from this Thanksgiving and Christmas to the next in the click of a finger.
Also since I'm one of those women who doesn't regularly buy new clothes (and who doesn't quickly and easily throw old things away), I might have variations of the same clothing on in multiple photos for an entire decade that feels like less than a year. Okay that last part might be a bit of an exaggeration, but I shall leave it at that for now...