7/26/17

"Are you a "make it happen" or "let's see what happens" type of person?"

(I read the above question on a friend's facebook wall and decided to answer it, from my perspective, or at least parts of my perspective.)
I am both.
I'm very prone to being a "make it happen" type of person when it comes to poetry and art - since I'm strongly drawn to poetic expression, but it's not going to create itself or suddenly, randomly ejaculate itself into the world.
I'm passionate, high energy, and have urgent and anxious impulses and so I love directing my passionate energy (and expelling my anxiety and borderline OCD urgency) in a direction that I have a real, genuine, long lasting, ongoing passion for.
Since I know my passion for poetry is strong and real and genuine (for example, regardless of what others think of my poetry, I will still create it), I like to be in control of my own time and space, in regards to my poetry.
Also, I like to be in control of my own time and space as much as I can period. Overall, I'm not good at handling last minute plans.
I have no desire to control anyone else's time or space however - and I have absolutely no desire to try to control anyone else's mind, other than my own. I don't want to take any control whatsoever over any other adult's thoughts or feelings or lifestyle choices. Ultimately, everyone's thoughts and feelings and choices should be their own.
Aside from my poetry/art and being able to make my own choices inside my own mind and in regards to my own time and space... with most other things, I'm closer to "let's see what happens".
Things that involve anyone other than myself, as long as they don't invade my time and space, I don't desire to be in control.
I don't desire to be in control of a large group situation.
I don't desire to be in control of any individual other than myself.
It's not because I'm weak; it's not because I'm a follower; it's not because I'm complacent with others. But with some things, it doesn't feel worth it for me to try to be in control AND with some things, I genuinely do want to see what happens.
With relationships and love, for example. I don't want to MAKE a relationship or love happen, because that doesn't feel real and genuine. I don't want to quickly grab someone up, just to make sure someone else doesn't grab them up. I don't want to make someone dive into me before they even know very many of the details of me and my mixed-up, semi-convoluted personality.
I don't want to MAKE anything happen if it involves someone else, because I feel like that's too close for comfort to being forceful and wanting to be in control of others.
Being in control of oneself is fine. Being in control of others is the total opposite of my cup of tea.
I don't want to STATE my opinion as though it's some sort of absolute fact.
I don't want to force myself upon or dive into someone who has no idea if they can handle all of me.
My poetry/art is all mine (when I am creating it), so I feel completely comfortable choosing to be in control of that.
I'll dive right into a poem if I'm in the mood. After all, if I later decide the poem is dull or boring or nothing special, then I can tear it up and toss it in the trash OR I can revise it into something better, since I'm the one who wrote it in the first place.
But I don't want to spend my time and energy trying to revise other human being's minds. 
Everyone's minds are their own and if we choose to share our brain waves with certain special others, that can be awesome. 
But trying to mold someone else's mind into what you think it ought to be feels like the polar opposite of awesome to me.