1/2/14

New Year New Spectrum

Do you ever miss the part of life where you feel as if you still have all kinds of different and interesting new things to find out and new relationship experiences awaiting you and other new adventures? I do. I sometimes get into these modes where I feel like the more life goes on and the older I get, the more ridiculous and relatively meaningless everything seems, at least on any broad scale.

But then I think it's a matter of mentally convincing myself that I DO still have all kinds of unknown potential horizons in my future. Even if most of them are small scale, that doesn't make them uninteresting on a small, exciting personal level. 

I don't particularly relate to the people who think that life experience and the maturity it endows upon you equates to knowledge and power and success. Heck, I'm not even a fan of maturity. What is the point of maturity? What does maturity even mean? I'm more a fan of ongoing excitement (whether it's mature or immature) and oddity. 

I'm not one of those 'knowledge equals power' persons. I'm more of an excited by small delights type of person. Especially if the delights are unexpected and/or odd and/or artsy and/or sexy and/or more than one of those things plus cause me to feel young and new, instead of old, blah, and been there/done that.

Yes ongoing life experience gives you more knowledge, but it doesn't necessarily make you wiser. In fact, it makes some people seem kind of boring in a been there/done that/stuck in one place and wanting to stay positioned in that one place forever and thus way too toned down for ongoing excitement. I know some people like being relaxed and toned down into one place/position. I'd rather be revved up and find out about a new place/position. Maybe that's because I feel like I don't fit in to any one normal, easy, basic position.

Why don't more people want to change their positions and re-position their placements? Why do some people seem to think that if you still want to try new things and have new experiences once you've reached a certain age, that's kind of immature? It's not. Maybe it means you still have interest and passion and desire for excited spells and don't want to dull yourself down and conform into standardized parameters.

Maybe life on a large scale is relatively meaningless and ridiculous - but you can still create your own small scales and misshapen little color hues if you want to. You can experience your own spectrum of meaningless ridiculousness and hopefully every once in a while, one of those hues will feel meaningful and unique and new.