1/7/14

little cold spell

suddenly feeling rather tired and glum. I think a bird somehow broke a leg or a wing or is dying from the cold outside of my house, because last time I opened my front door to take my dog outside for a few minutes, as soon as we stepped out, a bird flung itself up from the ground and started partly flying around the porch, repeatedly hitting its head. I quickly moved my dog back inside and closed the door, because the bird had no sense of direction and I certainly didn't need it to accidentally bang/fly itself into my house because then what? it clearly wasn't flying right, so now I'm imagining it freezing to death outside. i've heard other odd little banging sounds outside my house today; maybe it was the dying bird.  maybe i'm just feeling cold and tired and small as if sometimes my well-meaning and time-consuming projects don't mean very much. and/or maybe I'm suddenly feeling overly bummed by the cold dying bird even though it doesn't ultimately mean very much. and/or maybe I'm just feeling tired but as if I didn't get enough done today and so going to bed already would seem dull and like i'm suddenly broken and who cares?