Age and the speed racing of time (and poetry)...

I try not to go on about age too much (because I don't really care about age too much - except for when it comes to the ridiculously speed-racing passage of time and how fast every year seems to fly by - and how I think for a lot of us, every year goes by so fast that our age is older than we feel FOR YEARS). And then of course, further approaching the progression of impending death.

But since I just turned 51 this week and since I thus stated my age on a few photos I put up online, maybe that's part of the reason why a photo post from a poet friend showed up in my fb Newsfeed and said he was about to turn 31, which then caused me to feel a bit weird about him being so much younger than me (in terms of age, anyway), because I don't tend to think of or view people as being much younger or older, unless they're way younger or older (or act like a kid or a parent in all their interactions).

And so 30 doesn't sound particularly young or old to me; it just sounds like a number. But it's a number that's currently 20 years younger than my number, which escalates the speed-racing passage of time! And also, backtracking in time, I remember having a freak out when I was about to turn 30! And now I've just turned 51! And even though me being 30 feels like quite a while ago now and a whole different part of my life, it doesn't feel like more than 20 years ago! I mean, I still have a lot of significant memories associated with parts of my life in my 20's...and 30's...and 40's... but now I'm in a different decade already.

In a way, it feels a bit weird when a lot of the poets who are getting attention are now 20 years (or more than 20 years) younger than me. But I mean...I was writing and getting published 20 years ago (and more than 20 years ago) too. I was getting published in my twenties, too. But then even more in my thirties and beyond. I thought my poetry really started flourishing (as in, coming out more naturally) at age 33. I think my first full-length poetry book was published when I was 35. Prior to that, I'd had quite a few poetry chapbooks published.

I'm one of those writers who has always loved chapbooks, small presses, indie presses and always will. I think I'll always remain focused on chapbooks. I've had two chapbooks published this year, another one forthcoming soon, and another new chapbook manuscript that I'm currently submitting. I also have a collaborative full-length manuscript I'm submitting and an individual full-length manuscript in-progress, but I seem to have a harder time with full-length manuscripts, both in terms of assembling them (it just takes me a while) and in terms of submitting them (I'm not paying big reading fees or submitting to presses that don't even tell you what happens if they accept your manuscript or that only give you one free copy of your own book).

But now I'm rambling in a different direction when I was supposed to be talking about the speed racing of time. For example, my last individual full-length poetry book was published 5 years ago now and that does not feel like 5 years ago!