2/10/21

a bad dream on the 5 year anniversary of my dog's death

Uncomfortable dream last night in which my pet dog was possibly approaching the end of its life. The dog basically looked like bones. Literal bones, like if you're walking through a forest and see bones from a dead animal. The difference was all the dog's bones were connected with each other, so it had a head, a body, legs and feet, and even a tail - but no skin or tongue or eyes. But it was alive. But it was in bad shape.

Someone said they could fix it - some woman who acted like an expert who knew what she was talking about. So we were in a dark old basement and my dog was on a table that resembled a table at a veterinary office. The woman who had said she could fix him was cutting into parts of his bone in a way that was supposed to somehow help whatever his issue was - but then she accidentally broke part of one of his bones - and part of me knew he couldn't be fixed or saved after that.

But he was still alive, so what were we supposed to do? She kept cutting and I was worried he was going to break even more, fall apart, and be in terrible pain. I asked her, "Can he hear me?" She said yes, so I was whispering into the dog's ear bones and the holes where his eyes had been and crying until I woke myself up.


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