Ongoing invisibility glitches...

Sometimes I feel like I'm spending hours and hours and hours working on stuff that hardly anyone cares about but me. Which is fine, I guess (as long as I care about it and enjoy it), but it also causes me to feel sort of invisible and questioning meanings.

Then it sometimes reaches a point where I'm not even sure why I'm spending so much time and attention working on my individual invisible stuff inside my individual invisible brain-land. It's not loneliness; I almost never feel lonely these days (I love having time to myself/ by myself to do my own thing); it's more like what is the point of this, this, this or ANYTHING sort of thoughts/feelings. Feeling semi-randomly invisible in regards to stuff that doesn't feel invisible to me, but maybe it almost is anyway.

And then when I keep working away in my invisible land anyway, I start thinking of black holes and wondering if part of my brain is some sort of black hole. Or more like a tiny wormhole inside a small book, probably involving poetry. 

Maybe even poetry that I spent a lot of time, effort, energy, and even genuine passion creating, but not long after it's completed, it might soon turn invisible again (or it might not, so I keep trying...)...

When I was younger, my feelings of invisibility manifested themselves in a more physical manner. For example, if I was in a room full of people, my brain would try to convince me that nobody could see me, even though I could see them - and I'd have to look in the mirror a lot in order to visualize myself and prove that I physically existed. But now it's more a mental/emotional thing. Yes, I physically exist (and yes I have real thoughts, feelings, and awareness), but does it really matter? Yes? No? Maybe? Ask the latest Ouija Board?

I most likely don't matter very much in the vast scheme of things, but do I even matter that much on a small scale? I mean, sure I matter on a very small personal scale to myself, but...