1/15/18

semi-random little personal blog post about pills and the beginning of my 2018 and Tutti Fuckin Fruity

Felt and sounded negative much of last week, do to having a random back muscle strain followed by an unexpected seizure later that day, which was a real bummer, especially combined with the fact that I was starting to feel worried that maybe the new manufacturer's variation of my seizure pill wasn't working well for me.

Honest question. Why in the hell are pills prescribed for unintentional brain glitches, unintentional mental disorders, and unintentional heath issues derived from corporate entities and money based companies and the same generic brand name can be made with different fillers, Manufactured by a Pharmaceutical Company in China and Distributed by a Healthcare U.S. LLC brand, whatever that even means?

I mean, with the new manufacturer's version of the same low dose pill I've been on for years, I was too often feeling like I was on some damned pill, with these unnatural thoughts and feelings of ramped up edginess and nerviness and little bits of panic (on the brink of panic attacks) and a kind of energy that didn't feel like my natural kind of energy. 

But I guess that's no big deal for one low dose pill to mess with someone's brain? 

Heck, what about the many people who are on (more than) one higher dosed pill(s)?

Maybe the average person doesn't think it's a very big deal that the generic versions of pharma pills change their filler ingredients, which basically consists of suddenly putting your body and brain on a different pill with the same name?

I think maybe I'm someone whose body and brain doesn't naturally adapt well to pills anyway.  I've hardly ever taken any pills, other than aspirin and ibuprofen for headaches and menstrual cramps, and the few times I've been prescribed a pill for a UTI or a sinus infection.

It seems like even low dose pills affect me too much. I remember one time, years ago, when I took some sort of sudafed pill for a sinus issue or a cold, and the next thing I knew, I couldn't sleep, I couldn't think normally, my mind was racing, my heart was racing, it was like everything had been unnaturally, uncomfortably sped up, like I had popped some illicit illegal speed drug when all I had done was taken a sudafed pill that you don't even need a prescription for.

And now one week after starting this new variation on my seizure pill, I had a new seizure. The edgy, unnatural, uncomfortable feelings finally seem to be settling down and hopefully they will go away soon.

Fingers crossed towards hoping that I'm finally getting used to the pill a few weeks in, because I don't really have any other options, other than trying another different version, crossing my fingers again, and having another few uncomfortable mental/physical weeks to get acclimated and decide if I'm okay, while people who aren't on ANY pills are trying to convince me that I'm fine. Sometimes I feel like telling these people who aren't on any pills to take my pills twice a day before they feel free to offer me any personal assessment about the matter. I mean seriously you guys, how do you know how this feels? You can research it online, but it's not inside your own body and mind - yet parts of you still seem to feel as if your online assessment outweighs my own personal mental/physical experience?

I don't think it's anyone's personal fault if their brain can't easily acclimate itself to a new generic, semi-corporate pill in less than a week. Maybe I'm just stating/slightly explaining the obvious out loud.

As for my new Tutti Fuckin Fruity shirt, it was an Xmas gift from my main man. 


No comments:

Post a Comment