I do not desire to feel like a last minute MAYBE.To feel like I am not particularly important to anyone anymore. Like I’m not very special or very valuable or very fun anymore. Like soon my back burner might become broken down burner might become irksome witchety grub burden.
I am fine with expecting the unexpected CREATIVELY. I am fine with occasional changes of plans/changes of pace. But when I’m
starting to feel as if the majority of my real life plans are ebbing rather than
flowing, then the word ‘go with the flow’ starts
to seem worse, more witch sinking.
Maybe I should just give up on advance planning attempts,
since they often don’t materialize lately. Maybe I should give up on in-depth friendship. Maybe I should give up on long term relationships.
Maybe I should somehow just get used to being a back burner – and turn myself into some sort of witchy back burner. Some sort of poisonous witch brooming burnt cunt cake.
Maybe I should somehow just get used to being a back burner – and turn myself into some sort of witchy back burner. Some sort of poisonous witch brooming burnt cunt cake.
I feel the same way a lot. Don't give up on friendship, but look at which peeps treat you which ways. I gave up on a friendship where I kept getting treated like that. I mean, I like the person & all, but I got tired of being stood up & feeling not important. Spend your energy on peeps that DO follow-through & keep their word with you. Sure, sometimes things happen & plans get screwed up, but when it's all the time or almost all the time, don't waste time on peeps who treat you like that. It's not just you. I want you to know this happens to most peeps. Lots of fair-weather friends out there, but it's hard to find the good ones who'll really be there. I know, it sure does make you feel like a crap-filled cupcake to get treated that way, but make a mental note & put that person on your sh*t list & move on to other things. I know, easier said than done & it feels like crap. Why do peeps have to be this way? I have no idea. Just letting you know you're not the only one. <3
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