12/28/11

EMPTY BLACK HOLES

Another creepy dream from which I couldn’t awaken myself took place on Xmas.

I’d had a headache for most of the day, thus popped more ibuprofen than usual, since I didn’t want to feel too badly to be a part of my families holiday festivities. Heck, despite being prone to weird Xmas overloads to the point of too much stress, I got all my holiday shopping done for both kids and adults; I had even baked a special treat to add to the celebration; AND I had even started calling the day Artmas, in order to have more fun with the whole odd affair and how I might or might not fit into it. My over the top goth necklace and Dahlia eye shadow made me feel pretty creative that day.

Unfortunately though, my headache had gotten so bad by late evening, that as soon as I got back to my house from our families Xmas time celebrations, I had to lie down. Soon I was in the midst of a bad dream from which I attempted to awaken myself and thought I HAD awakened myself, but even though I thought I was awake, I couldn’t seem to open my eyes all the way. I walked up to my bedroom mirror and looked at myself and saw that my eyes were gone; I just had empty black holes.

After realizing I was still asleep, I tried to force myself up AGAIN, thought I had done so AGAIN, but still couldn’t open my eyes all the way, and still felt off kilter, oddly tired, and weirdly zoned out. I tried walking around in my bedroom, forcefully stomping my feet upon the floor to wake myself up better.

After realizing I was STILL asleep and not really walking/stomping, but still trapped shut eyed upon my own bed, I started to feel more stuck and scared; so I started to try calling my parents to help wake me up; but how could I use my phone or make them hear me when I was still in bed with my non-eyes closed?

When I FINALLY managed to wake up (STILL with a slight headache), I found myself wondering if I had possibly consumed too much nutmeg. Then I called my mom who suggested I’ve watched too many horror movies in my life and that’s why this is happening to me now. But my empty black eye holes weren’t even blood red. That might have made the dream more interesting. Instead they were eyeless black holes and I felt scared of being zoned out/trapped/stuck and unable to emerge from that dark mode.